I challenge myself every year to think outside the thankfulness box of plenty, food, and clothes, although I am very grateful for them. But, I ask, “What are the things I am most tempted to gripe about, or to rebel against, or even just to resist?” Then I write them down and I look at them upside down and inside out. It is funny how that exercise helps me adjust my attitudes. Sometimes I blog about the list, and you may remember some of these from other years. I don’t learn too fast, apparently. I know I have wasted too much time on some of these, and it is good to examine them again. I think my perspective changes, thanks to the first one on the list.

1. The inevitable march of time
2. My husband’s work schedule
3. Living in such a public place
4. Homeschooling pressures/obligations
5. So many meals to cook
6. Interruptions

So, I am getting older. I have lived through enough to merit having grey hair. I really don’t care. And I can laugh when my little girl whispers in church, “Are you pregnant… or are you just plump?” I know my style and it doesn’t matter so much anymore if it’s nobody else’s style. I can do Thanksgiving the day before Thanksgiving because my husband has to work on Thanksgiving Day. This will not ruin our holiday because I have discovered that I have the power to choose to be thankful.

This brings me to the long shifts and mandatory work days on other people’s holidays and weekends. I admit, when it first dawned on me that nurses work these shifts, like, all the time, I cried. Now with a few years of dealing and perspective, I see it a little more realistically. A work week goes by very quickly in 3 twelve hour shifts. It is a dream come true to work together developing our property and having the opportunity to go on short trips and campouts and hikes on those strings of days off. How can I fuss that they aren’t on the weekends and the holidays? (I do it still sometimes. Ask Gabe. I am not Polly Anna.)

We live 20 feet off the road and have kind of gotten used to other people minding our business, such as someone calling the police when our girls were sliding on the frozen pond while their father was working right there in the pasture, after he had checked to be sure the ice was safe. Sometimes I get really tired of being in the public eye, right here between two intersections. We let our children build fires and make shelters in the woods and sleep outside when they want to. They own hatchets and knives and sometimes they build barns instead of doing school books. Occasionally the whole troop is outside chasing goats and screaming. People get very concerned about this sort of thing. But at least we are never far away from help. All we need to do is stand out beside the road for half a minute and someone will drive past and we can flag them down. Not that this has ever happened, but it could. We are also 1/4 mile from the north/south interstate and 6 miles from the east/west interstate. I mean, that is linked in!

(Here is our front porch with some withered gourds, our lane with some excited little girls in the first snow, our picket fence with some dead flowers, and The Road with no cars at the moment.)

I will not elaborate on the ways that homeschooling stretches me, because right now it feels like we have hit our stride and I do not want to tip the delicate balance. I am thankful for the chance to learn stuff about Teddy Roosevelt in my son’s library research report and to plug away every day with my older son’s algebra lessons. I got a 78% in my last exam because I got terribly confused with some terms we were supposed to have memorized. That simply is not good enough, so we dig more neural pathways every day! Homeschooling also keeps my heart turned toward my children. How could it not? We hang out together every day. It is, most assuredly, not all fun and games! But it keeps me begging for mercy and wisdom and that is a good place to be so I am grateful.

The food… honestly, sometimes I just get so tired of all the necessary food! Practice has helped me get better at it though. I don’t panic about visitors at mealtime if I have any sort of advance warning at all. I can adjust quantities and stretch a pound of ground beef, no sweat. I can now get up and cook a turkey and all the trimmings for a feast. I have even managed a kitchen for a wedding meal. So all this food is teaching me stuff. I know my bread recipe by heart. I can make soup out of fridge leftovers that tastes actually really good. And here is the thing. There is always plenty. I may have to hide the treats sometimes to keep them safe from the ravenous horde of children who ought first to eat their vegetables. But the treats are there and all I had to do was put some ingredients in a bowl and bake them. I can do this. I am grateful.

Okay, interruptions. Interruptions come from a very full and busy life. Which means people are depending on me to find their shoes and put salve on their hurt fingers and pick the burdocks out of their hair. Never mind that I was trying to answer an email in a coherent fashion right then. And then I remembered that I should hang the sheets on the line and while I was outside I noticed that the dog chewed a hole in a bag of trash and scattered it all around. The porch could use a brush off with a broom too. There are shoes and a jacket right smack inside the door and a child needs a reprimand. Let’s see… Oh, yes, that email. But it was only one of a million things to think about. As chaotic as it may seem sometimes, I realize that I have a life! I am truly grateful.

 

My blogging friend, Luci, who writes over at Properties of Light, suggested that posting every 15 pictures from my cell phone would give a good overview of the summer. I looked through mine and saw that quite a few of them were taken by my children, but it really is a summary of the last few months. I did as she suggested, taking them at face value. I left them uncropped and unedited because that is life in its ordinary glory.

I don’t know why I have a photo of the stack of dishes after we processed broccoli, but it does illustrate some stacking skills. Also, you may notice that I have started to cool blanched vegetables with a fan instead of in cold water, because they stay loose in the freezer bags, instead of all in a solid frozen chunk. That is my bit of loving trivia sharing for the day.

It has been a while since berry season, but the bottom is a sugar-free, low-carb, black-bean brownie dessert I made to share with my parents. It was good, despite everything one could say in objection to the unconventional ingredients. Above it is a pan of Black Forest Brownies, which is something we invented to elevate boxed brownies. (Not that they really need elevating.) You simply pour cherry pie filling over brownie batter and bake it. Also quite good.

This would be a kid photo, where the cousins were munching blueberries straight out of the boxes, unwashed. Gasp! It’s a good thing someone took a photo, because I had no idea where those stray wrinkled berries in the corners of their room came from. I still don’t know who is the shy child hiding under the blanket.

This is Ben, the very last bunny out of a litter of 8. He got held so much after all his siblings were sold that he turned into a tame little furball. Then he got rangy and adolescent, with not enough body fat to be cute, but the girls all mourned when he got his new home.

The curtain again. I rejoice to say that the bobbles are still intact.

I have a lot of cell phone photos of curriculum. I sold this lot on Ebay or Amazon. We get the package deal when we buy our stuff for the new year because it is much cheaper that way. Then we sell the new stuff that is repeat copies of books in storage from when a previous child did the course.

First day of sixth grade for Gregory. We started the school year in the beginning of August because we needed some days stockpiled to take off time later. I wished the 15th photo would have landed on Addy’s picture, because she was so thrilled to be official that she just beamed. K5 is still a blast for her. She is whisking through her course with great speed and determination, as evidenced by the already-dull and broken crayons and the great arch of cut-and-paste projects she tapes up around her desk.

We now have electricity in our barn! At one point these guys had seven trucks in our driveway. The man in the cherry picker bucket did the work and one lackey on the ground fetched for him. The rest stood around a truck and chewed the fat.

Naptime, and the book she chose for her story. She has a strategy that involves finding the longest book she can, then wiggling to stay awake. This child likes non-fiction better than stories. We read a lot of Usborne science and history books at naptime, and I cannot skip a single flap to lift. 🙂 On the upside, I learn bits of trivia too. If only I could retain the information the way the children do!

Here we have a vast expanse of kitchen floor and a little girl who fell asleep between the bathroom and her bedroom. This was after an exhausting weekend of running and playing with cousins at Grandpa’s house. She didn’t even wake up when I hoisted her into the top bunk.

Alex’s guitar teacher lives next to this lovely little park, where the rest of us sometimes hang out while he does his lesson.

Th bike round-up again, on the first time ever that we all biked around the lake on our own steam. I still can’t quite believe nobody is in a stroller. Not even any training wheels!

I just liked this and saved it off Facebook one day. It’s how I live.

Olivia had a birthday and Alex grabbed my phone to take some photos, even though I had the real camera and a better angle. I like the expressions of the un-birthday kids, and the birthday china.

The last phone pic is a book I got for a quarter, then discovered I already have it and I wanted to ask my sister if she wants it.  (On a side note, I recommend that you read any of the books in the No. 1 Ladies’ Detective Agency Series.)

Life is like that, isn’t it? Not all pretty and pinteresty, but full of moments that pile up and make it, what’s the word? Full.

Thanks for the challenge, Luci. 🙂

 

I am sitting at my parents’ house, on call to help my dear mother if she needs anything in the night. The last month has been more than trying for her. First she suffered through the painful weakness of a shingles case. Just as that was starting to heal, there came a severe double sciatic inflammation and now she has a case of Bell’s Palsy on top of it all.

Yesterday I taught the preschool Sunday school class about Job and his steadfast trust. I suppose my mom and dad will never know if there were conversations between the devil and God concerning their faith, but it has certainly been sorely tried. I have watched my dad with something like awe as he took on the role of patient and kindly nurse. I didn’t even know he had it in him, and there he is, day after day, night after night, helping Mom get comfortable and praying for her when she simply cannot be comfortable. If you have some space on your prayer list, put them on it, please?

It’s June! Have you noticed? Here in central PA that means just about perfect weather. It means strawberries and peas and cherries. June is wonderful! The thing that happens is the constant busyness and running, running. It takes a conscious effort not to parch one’s soul in the host of good things to do.

A few weeks ago we had an especially crazy stretch of days and a sweet friend asked me after church, “So what has the Lord been teaching you this week?” I had been gulping small sips of “Streams in the Desert” and running along for days, and all I could say was, “Well, I am experiencing the fact that the cares of life choke out the Word.” (Mark 4:19) Just venturing a guess here that I am not the only one who has experienced the unfruitfulness that comes from lack of water. It reaches into creativity as well. When I am running dry, I just do what I have to do and there is nothing left to make something fresh. So maybe this is what happens when there are weeks of no writing. Or maybe my mom is sick and I am spending time at her house.

Gabe and I had an engagement anniversary (15 years) last week. I already told you the story of when he proposed. We were thrilled that we would get to change the world together! The week before our wedding, we were praying one evening and we both got a really strong sense that our marriage was meant to be about much more than two happy people. (Hello! I know this is basic, but it is quite easy to forget when you are young and in love.) There was this odd feeling that we were going to face hard times, not in spite of, but because we were casting in our lot together. This is a bit of a jolt when you only ever want to live together forever. We stopped praying and looked at each other. Did you get that too? Is this worth the risk? But of course. We were in love and we would be together and all would have to be well.

There is a quote by Jimmy Meacher that I have always liked:

“A wife is a spiky, complex creature brought into conjunction with another spiky, complex creature. For the rest of their lives they will be working out how to fit into the small world of marriage without damaging each other.”

(you can buy these hedgies here)

My friend Joy, who just celebrated 5 years of marriage, wrote a very wise post about the perfect marriage recently. You should read it, especially if you are realistic enough to know that love is kind of hard sometimes, you know, in the middle of the plush hearts and chocolates.

This morning we got up early and picked peas as the sun was coming up. Gabe set up a speaker and we listened to love songs while we picked. It was so ordinary and such a funny way to change the world. My opinions about middle-aged people have altered, obviously, since I am quite close to that category myself. I still don’t think that it is okay to live solely for the pleasure of a cute little family and all the stuff that can be accumulated to make it happy. But I think that middle-aged people who do the next thing, the right thing, the unselfish thing, might just be the fabric that holds society together. What if everybody was always traveling, keeping up with fashion, eating sushi in every city, and not having children because they are too much trouble and expense? While I do not begrudge these experiences (in moderation 🙂 ) to those who are unfettered by responsibilities, I see the potential extermination of the human race right there.

I am listening to The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich  when I pull weeds in the garden or have to do anything kind of unpleasant, like mending. It’s great, because it makes me mad and that gives me energy. At the same time I have been learning a bit about Winston Churchill and how he was consumed with concern for the welfare of others, even though his forceful personality and way of showing his care often made people dislike him. Talk about prickly! He had a saying when he was tired of it all and wishing to throw in the towel, “We have to just KBO.” His family and all his staff knew that this meant, “Keep Buggering On,” that he wasn’t giving up. I am sort of adopting this as a life motto. There are verse fragments that mean the same thing, “Don’t be weary in well-doing,” etc. but KBO is so easy to say and it makes me laugh at myself.

So, the cares of life, they are real and the worries that attend them. It’s not just the children anymore. In this stage of life it’s the parents too. It’s all part of the responsibility and the circle of life. And here we stand in the middle with all this stuff to do. That is why we have to focus so specifically on the things that really matter. My husband just did a study at church on meditation and it has encouraged me to stay hydrated.

1. Soak yourself in the water of the Word of God!
2. Bear fruit that nourishes others.
3. Give freely.

(Fruitfulness is not just about having babies.)

Well, here we are leaping into March!  My children have these circular discussions about whether it would be cool to be born on leap day or not. Would you have four cakes and four presents from everybody to make up for lost time? Would you freeze some cake for the next year’s un-birthday? Could you really say you were only 20 for 4 years, then would you be 21 or 24? Would you pretend you were a day older or a day younger so you could have parties every year? It sure gets complicated; birthdays are serious stuff! I didn’t even tell them about the whole proposal thing yet.

Today was brilliantly sunny and bitterly cold in patches. I looked out the window and saw Rita, all bundled up but playing barefooted on a dirt pile. Later she had her boots on but no coat because the sun was unveiled by the clouds for just a little while. It has real warmth in it these days and we feel in our bones that we have survived.

Recently we watched a documentary called something like  A Year in the Life of a Moose, set in Jasper National Park.  “Boy, this is gonna be one long movie,” Alex said. It started out with calving time and the photographer literally shadowed the mother and baby pair for the entire year, camping and filming to try to see what is decimating the moose population.  We watched two mother/baby sets as they nibbled twigs and dove in lakes to eat water plants and then the snow fell and the danger descended. One day wolf tracks joined the moose tracks and you heard ravens calling and then the little pile of fur and bones that was left from the baby who couldn’t run fast enough to get away through the deep snow. We were all holding our breath. It was such a let down, because he had almost made it to the spring thaw.

Addy caught on that this was in Canada where the bloodthirsty wolves were. I had just read her a story where Anna Hibiscus is going to Canada to visit her grandmother. “Wow,” Addy asserted, “Anna Hibiscus had better be careful!”

Speaking of survival, I just want to take a little time to thank the Lord for coffee and tea, gallons of it, laced with cream.  Then there are candles to light and those amazingly cozy microfiber throws that are for sale everywhere these days, even at Aldi’s. I thank Him for the vitamin D caps that I took regularly during the short grey days, absorbing the internal sunshine. I am grateful for the flowers from the grocery store, the little 88 cent pots of brilliant primroses blooming in a row on my windowsill. There is also this innovation called the heated seat, which removes the discomfort of traveling somewhere in subzero weather. There are books that take me far out of myself and my knotty little problems. Not the least of the things I thank God for is the crowd of friends and loved ones I have who rally around me and cheer me on. Even in February! The truth is that I am so surrounded by ways to keep the wolves at bay that I am embarrassed to complain about cold toes or pale skin.

Anyway, we made it! Thank God, we made it!

This is probably redundant. Get it?

Here’s one more just in case.