I could hardly suppress my amusement as I stood in the Hallmark card aisle and shamelessly eavesdropped on a phone conversation the young man next to me was having. He kept pulling out cards, replacing them impatiently, talking to his friend, “So how much would that cost? Eighty bucks??? I don’t have that much with me!” There was a pause while his friend gave him further advice and he restlessly plucked out more cards and replaced them. “Look,” he said, “I have only been going out with her for five months. I don’t want to be all smarmy. And I only have like thirty dollars on me.”
At this point I had an urge to pat him on the head reassuringly. He was shorter than me. No joke. But he had a little beard, so I didn’t think I was old enough or he young enough for me to tell him what I was thinking, “It will be easier when you have found her, Sonny. When you have walked life together for a while and you know she hates coconut candies and loves vanilla anything at all.”
It’s hard to define love. Lots of people have done it well. I will just aim at one of my lists here. Love does things. Things like
- buying salami and turkey for humdinger sandwiches so that he doesn’t go hungry his whole shift
- stopping at Aldi’s for the stuff on her list, even though you are dog-tired and would rather just go straight home
- plotting out the gardens and disagreeing about eggplant
- clearing the coloring books off the couch so the other can sit to drink coffee
- cleaning up the mess the dog made because it makes her really mad
- buying sheets that don’t get pilled in the laundry because he hates how that feels
- never eating pretzels in bed
- kissing in front of the children
- prioritizing some foods you don’t personally enjoy, like olives, for the other person’s sake
- cleaning out the family car, even though she mostly drives it
- dealing with the offspring’s issues because she is showing signs of strain from a day of too many spats
- treating aching feet with peppermint lotion
- listening without even laughing… at least until he/she thinks it is funny too
- knowing exactly which books she will swoon over at the library sale
- disagreeing kindly
- remembering the hilarious things that happened throughout the day so that you can tell him about them
- holding hands to pray
There. I wasn’t too smarmy, was I? 😉 There used to be these little gum packs with “Love is…” cartoons in them. I thought they were cute and terribly cheesy. But there was a lot of truth. Sometimes love really is a phone call in the middle of the day, just to say hi. There is so much ordinary life that fans the love affair of a good marriage. Gabe says his friends at work tease him about his lunches because they know I pack them, and I pack the best lunches I can because I love him. Somehow it all ties together, if you get what I mean. I want everybody in the world to see that this is my man and we intend to stay together all of our lives. Why not expend my energies to make it a pleasant journey?
And now, because one cannot have too much Pride and Prejudice:
wocket in my pocket 
“…listening without even laughing… at least until he/she thinks it is funny too…”
Absolutely brilliant.
Yes, I am one who values little thin most and thank God so much on a day like this that I am married to a man who does so many of them. Truly it is the thousands of little things that form this strong bond that takes us through a lifetime together. Beautiful post.