wocket in my pocket

Looking for the unexpected in the mundane.

We Have to Look

on November 8, 2015

Is there anyone else out there who can hardly bear to read the international news these days? Something about the plight of homelessness in winter strikes me as unbearable hardship. Add to that the loss of loved ones, the gouging of life savings by unprincipled men taking advantage of desperate people, the mud and the trekking in the cold and the uncertainty of when life will ever get better and it is just more than I can stand. I look at the photos of refugees huddled around small fires built out of bits of scrounged trash, the chapped lips, the bloodshot eyes with a film of hopelessness and I can’t stand it, but I can’t look away. Because it could be me. By some accident of grace (is there such a thing?) it isn’t me, but it could be.

All last week Gabe and I were fighting off a cold/cough that kept sitting hard on our chests every morning with that ugly feeling that it was settling in to stay for a while. We fought it with all the stuff in our cupboard: the Vicks rub, the eucylyptus oil, the Emergen-C, the echinacea by the handful, the Immunotea with raw honey, the elderberry syrup, the grapefruit seed crush to gargle for sore throat. And we won. It never did get a chance to settle in. Every time I fixed another cup of soothing tea, I thought of those refugees shuffling miserably through the mud, wiping a runny nose on a coat sleeve, hoping for asylum only to come up against a barbed wire fence. No comfort and no hope. I can’t stand it , but I can’t look away.

I keep reading opinion bits here and there on the interweb about short term missions and how ineffective they are. “It should have been sold and given to the poor,” Judas said about the priceless ointment Mary used to bathe Jesus’ feet. That is what some folks say about youth group missions trips. All that money spent on tickets for 6 weeks in a foreign country. It’s a waste. You could feed hundreds of people with that money. It’s not a good use of funds. They go, take a bunch of pictures of themselves being the angel of mercy to post on their social media, and they go home again and feel good about having done their bit, and then they buy the next generation phone. I suppose there is some truth to that, and the funds may be wasted sometimes.

But. What if that youth can never be the same? What if she is impacted profoundly by the dignity of a lady singing as she bends to her twig broom, sweeping her packed-dirt courtyard outside of her mud hut.. what if she thinks about this countless times when she wants to grouse about the state of her kitchen floor? What about the pastor who is spending his entire life in evangelism, living by faith, cheerfully serving the youth team cooked spaghetti noodles and fruit compote and they bless the food and are truly grateful… what if she remembers this when she serves bread and soup to her visitors and she doesn’t apologize because hospitality is not just food and she learned this in a village in Ukraine? What if she thinks about the mile walk to the well for water and the small amounts allocated to washing and general cleanliness because it is just really far to that well… and she cannot find judgement in her heart for the dirty begger standing by the intersection because without easy access to water, who can be clean? What if she met someone who literally never had a chance and she learned to care about the family that is all across the world? What if she learned an entirely new and perfectly acceptable way to peel a banana and got thoroughly embarrassed by her own condescending ideas of how things ought to be done? What if that short term missions trip changed the way she lived her whole life, made her see how much she has been freely given? What if she could never just not look because the people are all God’s people?

I don’t even know what this post is about. You are allowed to do that on a blog, I have heard. Maybe it’s about investing in a plane ticket, or exposure to the miseries and inequities in the world, about stripping away the insulation that keeps us self-centered and absorbed in our entitlement to more and better stuff. Maybe it is just plumb stream of consciousness. But we have to look. We have to see around us. What can we even do about it? As much as I would like to be there at the barbed wire, handing out hot coffee to the refugees, I am here and my children want popcorn.

Still. What if we all look at the brokenness and let it settle on us and know that there is only one solution, so we lift it up with groaning and pleading. What if all our collective whispers and petitions rise and God moves to change the affairs of nations? What if we don’t look away and we see what is coming with eyes of faith, so that we start investing in a better place “where righteousness dwells” instead of busily attempting to make heaven on earth?

As hard as it is, I really think we have to look.

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10 responses to “We Have to Look

  1. Carol says:

    We all need to search out what “missions” really are. I like this post!

    • deepeight says:

      I don’t think missions is supposed to be foreign. What do you think?

      • deepeight says:

        I mean, *only* foreign.

        • Carol says:

          NO! I honestly think that if we are not faithful right down in the nitty gritty real life of changing diapers and wiping noses kind of mission, we wont be very good in the middle of Africa either. The ” hard ” here is the “hard ” there. People are people no matter where we go. And guess what… we take ourselves along. (gasp) I am in the middle of writing our story… and some of it follows these lines. Jesus said if we give someone a cup of cold water in His name we will be rewarded. My hands and my feet and my mouth have the capability to be used in a mission field right here, right now, with my two preschoolers in my own house.
          LOVE LOVE LOVE your writings:)

  2. Shilah says:

    Someday, I hope to meet you in real life… So much of what you say resonates with my heart and thoughts. A friend and I, this week, learned of a way we can help in our own community and then the question was raised, how much good can one day of giving do for the immense needs all around us?

    I was reading in Acts this morning and was reminded that Paul, when he was Saul, ‘wrecked havoc to the Christians’ in that time. They more than likely wondered what good they could possibly do with a radical like that wrecking havoc, yet God, in His power, took Saul and made him into Paul. And we think we do so little…That we care and pray is what God is after and if He wants more from us, He gives us the means and ways to do it. Blessings…Keep caring…It’s our Christian response.

    • deepeight says:

      Thanks, Shilah, for that encouragement, (esp the Paul story) You know, even the star fish parable seems weak when I think of millions of refugees and a fight that has been ongoing for so many hundreds of years . I have to take refuge in the fact that God never loses track of a single person. And I do believe that my bit of faithfulness in small things is part of a global plan that I can’t hope to comprehend. Yet faith is substance. He says so!

  3. Luci says:

    I have always been drawn to your writing and this post really strikes a chord with me. I am in much, much agreement with every word, even the part about not knowing what the post is about. 😉 I just very much feel what you’re saying and get it and feel the same. Come for tea, please.

  4. Janelle says:

    This strikes so very close to my heart. ❤ Thank you for writing.

  5. […] Wocket in My Pocket. I’ve read this blog off and on before, and enjoy her sense of humor and writing style. She addressed the subject of refugees + how we respond to the brokenness around us so well: We Have to Look.  […]

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