wocket in my pocket

Looking for the unexpected in the mundane.

Reasons Why I Don’t Want to Be Thin

on October 28, 2014

The End. There are none.

I wrote this a long time ago, but I think I finally have the courage to post it. Parts of it are joking and parts are dead serious. You can decide.

Reasons Why I Am Not Thin… Now that is another story altogether.

For starters, I got the Miller gene, the one that is short and tends to rotundity. It will be a lifelong tussle for me, and I feel quite realistically resigned to this. But the Millers are actually exceptionally nice people and I am glad I sprang from them. My uncles and aunts are the jolliest, most kind-hearted folks around and I couldn’t love them more if they were ectomorphs. (Just a little friendly advice here: if you are an ectomorph and you want people to like you, do not mention things like being able to eat anything you want and never gaining weight.)

I am a terrible dieter. My philosophy that life is better when it is actually enjoyed tends to include things like occasional toasted bagels with cream cheese or actual sugar to sweeten my Earl Grey, or bits of real chocolate. I do not even feel guilty if I choose a piece of carrot cake not labeled THM, S, off the dessert table at fellowship meal.

Also I have a problem: whenever I cut calories drastically my body wails, “She isn’t eating enough! We are going to starve. Hang on to everything you have!” This makes weight loss very difficult and it makes me so grouchy that I just want to chew stuff. My husband does not like when I am grouchy, and neither do my children. “Mama, we don’t want you to get as skinny as _______. (Super disciplined lady we know and love.) We wouldn’t even know you anymore!” Haha. Recently I posted a picture on Facebook that my ten year old son drew. He is very suspicious of diets and suspects that thin women need nourishment. Do Trim Healthy Mamas feed their children well? he wonders. Then again, there is Pudge-o-saurus, whose salad is simply too large, or maybe has too many croutons and bacon bits on it. I am striving to hit a happy medium here.

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My husband is a nurse. He talks sense to me about diet and lifestyle and how it is all about taking care of our health. If you are not living indulgently and cramming too many calories and junk all the time, thank God for the food and enjoy it he says. If you have health issues, look at your diet and make changes. I might mention also that he loves me and makes me feel beautiful, and he has always done this, even when I was nine months pregnant. This is a man worth having and a very happy place for a woman like me to be.

Lifestyle is a big deal. I stay home and in the wintertime I mean like really stay home. Sure, I run around after children and up and down steps and around beds when I change the sheets, but it is a pretty sedentary life. Every chance I get, I slip out of the house in the evening for a brisk walk by myself, thankyouverymuch, but that is more about sweeping the uglies out of the soul and restoring peace internally than about aerobics. I am grateful to be able to play tag and hike and bike with my children. What I don’t have time for is hours at the gym.

Last but not least, I have gained and lost about 120 pounds in the process of giving birth to five babies. I am not even a little apologetic about that, and I will not feel sub-par because I look like maybe I had a few babies. I refuse to bow to the popular opinion that the only woman worth anything is the woman who makes what she looks like her top priority in life. (Someday I shall tell you about the most beautiful women I know.)

So. There you have it. All my excuses. And here is a confession: Sometimes I do feel very envious and large beside ladies who manage to stay slender and I wish I had their determination. I would be happy to lose 20 pounds. I am working on it in my own private way, because I seem to be allergic to “in things”,  even diets and chevron. The more rabid the following of a thing becomes, the more stubbornly determined I become to not join in. It is a bit of a problem, I know, but please just let me go. One more thing: if  the comments stay quiet, I will never write such a thing again.

May I have some chocolate now?

Edit: I did try the THM stuff. I gained 4 pounds. This may be at the heart of my “allergy”. However I do applaud all women who have taken charge of their health by a diet and lifestyle change. I really do. Hats off to you!

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21 responses to “Reasons Why I Don’t Want to Be Thin

  1. Motz says:

    Dort, as I was reading with great interest (as I do all of your posts), I kept thinking “This deserves a comment!”

    And then I got to the part where you ask for comments, or whatever. 🙂 Be happy I don’t overreact to coercion.

    Good job and I applaud your [eternal] perspective!

    • deepeight says:

      I am glad that you don’t overreact to coercion seeing as I myself have been known to do that a time or two. 🙂 Mainly what I didn’t want was strained silence. I can handle what people have to say, I think… Thanks for the affirmation.

  2. Christa Eaton Ramirez says:

    I have the Eaton genes and I really liked and could relate to this post. I know that I need to be more content with my size yet not be lazy and work on my extra weight too. Little by little for those of us with a dead metabolism!! 🙂

    • deepeight says:

      Yes, my dear, you have it right. Life is too short to live obsessed with myself, but too long to live daily unhappy with myself.

      • Rosie says:

        Oh my word. That last sentence has so much wisdom packed in it! I think all the get-healthy/get-fit motivators I’ve ever read have not reached this level of profound simplicity.

  3. Linda Horst says:

    Oh, you’ll get comments, don’t worry. I’m predicting this post will garner more feedback than any other you’ve done except the one in which you offered something FREE.
    I totally relate to this sentence “The more rabid the following of a thing becomes, the more stubbornly determined I become to not join in.” That’s me, totally. Recently I’ve been thinking I’m so glad I’ve been quietly using and LOVING essential oils for almost 15 years already, because if I’d be new to them, I definitely wouldn’t be signing up now that they’re the rage everywhere and I would truly be missing out. 🙂
    Thank-you for being vulnerable on this sensitive topic. Cheers to you and your beautiful, youthful-looking body!

    • deepeight says:

      Linda, it cheers me that there are others who unreasonably miss out on occasional things just because they are all the rage. I appreciate your voice piping up here. 🙂

  4. Bev says:

    Thank you so much for your honesty. I get sick of hearing about nothing except what size a girl is, how many miles she ran, or how many calories are in that cake. While health is important, there are more fascinating things to talk about, and I need to remember to inspire new topics in my conversations.

    • deepeight says:

      I am glad to hear from you! I myself am guilty of bringing up those well worn subjects of women’s conversation. Time to focus less on how we appear and more on who we are.

  5. Ellie Miller says:

    I was “amenning” all the way through. Loudly. 🙂 I’m another one who will stubbornly refuse to get on the bandwagon, because everyone else is on it. (Occasionally I realize it really is worth getting on. Usually by then, the fad is on the way out. So I never quite manage to be “in”! :)) I will probably wake up and think chevron is beautiful in about 5 years. But for now, it’s too 80ish to strike my fancy. 🙂 Loved this post!

    • deepeight says:

      Yup, we spring from the same roots, you and I. I actually like chevron. It has grown on me a lot, but I guess I won’t use it for curtains because my curtains have to last at least 10 year. 🙂

  6. El says:

    The old adage holds so true, “the sexiest part of a woman’s body is her brain”.
    I don’t like being pudgy, or dim witted. It was like a breath of fresh air discovering that nutrition could fix both and make me vibrant and full of joy again. And vibrant and full of joy was 15 lbs heavier then my “goal” weight.
    As far as current trends and fads go, I admit to a deep dislike for chevron and well tied scarves, as well as muffins in mugs and daily style selfie shots. If somebody says to me “you simply have to try……” I feel myself become pig headed and turned off. But I pride myself on being logical no matter my personal feelings, and so that is what I strive for at all times.

  7. Luci says:

    This.is.awesome. I read it aloud to my endomorph husband.

    But. Have you tried Plexus??? 😉 (NOT!)

    After reading this post, I went to your facebook and looked at your happy and healthy pictures and sighed with delight.

    I would write more, but Victoria needs the computer.

  8. El says:

    I have to add, the drawings are brilliant. Your child must be ever so smart the way he drew a wasp waisted trim healthy mama Dino.

  9. Heather King says:

    This post definitely deserves comments! I honestly laughed out loud after reading the title and first 2 sentences and I knew I was onto a good post (as are all of your posts)! I loved every sentence of it! Just this morning I stepped on the scales and told myself that this has got to stop. And then hubby called and said he was bringing home donuts for me. I ate them and enjoyed them to the fullest! 🙂 And one more thing – hubby and I both love Plexus and the way it has improved our sugar levels. I’m an ambassador so if you are ever interested just let me know. Hehe! 🙂

  10. Amy says:

    Great post! I would love to be a Thin Healthy Mama (or is it Trim?) and lose 20 pounds, but so far I haven’t worked up the will power. I don’t like chevron patterns either, and can’t bear a bulky scarf around my neck. I can’t find clothes to buy because they all seem so ugly. I like my walls painted white and I still like red and green at Christmas. Thanks for being real!

  11. Carol says:

    I think you are very beautiful. Always have! Your vibrancy and love for God, your family, and surroundings make you a joyful person to be around. I rate this blog one of my top ten. Love to you!

  12. deepeight says:

    Thank you, all, for your kindness!

  13. Ruby says:

    This is why you are forevermore a breath of fresh air. 🙂

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