Not Afraid

Please bear with me as I enlarge just a little more on the “struggle bus” as my children call it. I won’t do it again for awhile, and I actually am doing all right. The past year was good in a cathartic way. Lots of weird and yucky stuff came up and I dealt with them as they came to light, so that is always good.

If I may point out some generalizations first:

• There is nothing to be afraid of, and there are things that terrify me.
• Hard times are a catalyst for growth, but I cringe when they come.
• Tender-hearted people are usually those who have been flayed by difficult situation.
• Reaching for the next thing is the best way to live, but forgetting the things that are behind is not so easy.
• Believing lies stunts growth, and stress is fertilizer for lies.
• Knowing who is right and who is wrong may not be as important as we think it is.
• Worrying is the quickest way to waste an opportunity to run to Jesus.

That’s just a quick list that comes to mind. I would guess that some of you can relate. Repeatedly in the year past I have asked myself, “What is real? What do I actually know, without a shadow of a doubt? What matters for my assignments today?”

I have been reading Psalm 145 on repeat.

[The LORD is faithful in all his words
and kind in all his works.]^c
14The LORD upholds all who are falling
and raises up all who are bowed down.
15The eyes of all look to you,
and you give them their food in due season.
16You open your hand;
you satisfy the desire of every living thing.
17The LORD is righteous in all his ways
and kind in all his works.
18The LORD is near to all who call on him,
to all who call on him in truth.
19He fulfills the desire of those who fear him;
he also hears their cry and saves them.
20The LORD preserves all who love him,
but all the wicked he will destroy.

I’m staking everything on that. This is what is real. This I know. This is my place to stand for the next year, squarely in the kindness of God.

I am not afraid (when I stay there, in that spot).