Chortle of the Day

Gabe is checking his phone messages and tells me, “Oh, no, Sam says his girlfriend’s water broke and she isn’t due for quite a while yet. He wants to switch shifts with me.”

Olivia, in the next room, says, “Who? What? What is going on?”

I tell her that Sam’s baby is coming early and he wants Papa to cover for him at work. “OH.” Long pause. Then came the inevitable conclusion, “And his faucet isn’t working.”