“Everybody has their Cadillac,” says my dad when he is talking about the things that are normal for some and raise Such Indulgence eyebrows for others. I think this is especially true for penny pinchers people on a budget. Some people buy all their furniture on Craiglist, but then they buy this incredibly expensive cookware. I have friends who drive really nice vehicles, but I happen to know that they include eating lots of rice and beans in the family diet. I have to remember that while I forgo the cheese and bacon, my neighbor may think that the cereal in my shopping cart is a total splurge. I suppose I could always show them my coupons. 😛

Anyway… That is not the point here. The point? got a little lost in that first paragraph. I just wanted to clarify that if your particular brand of thrift doesn’t look just like mine, I am totally fine with that.

Back to celebrating… it doesn’t take a lot of money to make a festive occasion, especially for children.  I found this photo of a girly tea party, taken a year ago, and it brought all these thoughts up to the air.

On birthdays, we light a few candles, get out our pretty dishes, and drink out of goblets.  And we have bacon for breakfast. Instant celebration. When you eat a lot of cooked cereals, you appreciate the switch. 🙂 I kind of like that I don’t have to impress the birthday child with a tremendous meal from Taste of Home. (But then, I am a lazy cook.) We have ice cream and chips only on Occasions. We eat dessert on the weekend. It makes life very simple, and I love how the children’s eyes light up when the special stuff comes out. I do not quite know how to deal with the deprived little kids who try every kind of soda at the school picnic, though.

When I was a small girl, Mom would come home from grocery shopping trips with one pack of Wrigley’s Juicy Fruit, five pieces. There were four of us, and we each got one piece, which we savored… and saved and chewed again the next day. Our school lunches were bologna sandwiches and canned peaches in a little container, with maybe a cookie and some milk in reuseable thermoses. It was a Really Big Deal to get a Twinkie in our lunch.

I feel old when I look around and see all the stuff that is considered necessary to raise a happy child. Just check out kids’ bedrooms or birthday parties on Pinterest and you will know what I mean. I know we can’t be back in the eighties again, and I certainly don’t want to be Amish either, but I am trying to raise my brood with gratefulness for the small things.  I am sure I am not the only one who wants to raise her children with that sort of simplicity. What do you do intentionally to cut back on some of the superfluous stuff?

I was sitting here somnolent, waiting for my coffee to kick in, Olivia urging me to go back to bed, 🙂 when I decided I might as well catch you up on a few events. You may have noticed a few days of consecutive posts, which then abruptly ended.

Last week I got the best surprise of the year to date when the South Dakotan brother-in-law and wife showed up on our doorstep. They used to live a half mile from here, but it has been five years since they just casually dropped in and helped us eat our supper! It is so much better to look at each other while we talk, to admire in person the newest little baby who traveled along on their flying trip. Gabe confessed that he knew they were coming for a cousin’s wedding the next day, and that he had also arranged for us to go up to his parents’ place after the wedding.

Wow, I had some scurrying to do that night. Laundry came first, so we had clean clothes to pack, then a lick and a promise clean-up, as my mom used to say. I wrapped the wedding gift last thing before collapsing into bed. When I got up the next morning to assemble the boys’ school books for the day, I found that the little stinkers had gotten up early and done their school already!  My blessed mother came to our house to take on the childcare.

We traveled to the wedding with Thad and Rhonda, 1 1/2 hours to catch up without interruption. Well, at least we made a dent in the catching up. It really is fun to be friends with your siblings! 

Gabe and I headed back home before the wedding reception was quite done, leaving Thads to go on north with his folks. We had another four hours to drive after we picked up the suitcases and children. Once we were all loaded up, favorite people tucked into their favorite blankets, snacks and water bottle at my feet, I took a little time to breathe and be grateful.

In the last two years we have not traveled anywhere as a family except those four hours up to Grandpa’s house. This was the first time that I didn’t drive while Gabe studied. (In fact, many of the text books are sold, and I couldn’t be happier to see them sailing out the door while the paypal account fattens up!)

We had a delightful weekend, surrounded quite literally with family. Having taken along all manner of snow clothes, we got to ski and sled and skate. We strewed socks and hats and cameras and games all through Grandma’s space and she was just as sweet about it!

Oh, and we ate her food. Gabe’s mom is an artist in the kitchen. I have never seen anyone so effortlessly turn out a buffet of delectables like she does. I have a suspicion that she felt a little like a hoard of devouring locusts had descended upon her kitchen.

Gabe’s dad, the cabinet builder, has been working on a handsome, custom-built dresser for us. He built it out of walnut and sprayed the last coat of poly on it just an hour before we loaded up to come home. Always before we head out, he comes with bags of potatoes, onions, and carrots from his root cellar that we tuck in here and there with the luggage. Vegetables and fine furniture and love.

The ride home is usually very quiet, everyone having pretty much run their little legs off for the duration of the visit. Long on fun, short on sleep makes for interesting days post-visit. I didn’t want to skip a school day yesterday, so we got out the books and I ran laps doing laundry in the basement, switching things from the old dresser into the new one, arbitrating the differences that inevitably arise between tired children. Gabe had EMS con-ed and two interviews, so I was flying solo, attempting to bring the family craft back to earth without too much drama. 😉

To complicate things further, Olivia and Addy had a doctor’s visit scheduled in the afternoon. My cheerful young friend, Janelle, helped me out with the other children and the mountainous laundry while I was gone. I had promised Olivia, “No sticks or pricks. No labs. Just routine check-up.” Don’t you know, the doctor discovered a vaccination that needed boosting. If it would have been any of the other children, I would have refused it for the time being, but with Olivia’s compromised immune system and the swirling threat of whooping cough, I decided to go ahead with it.

Well. My sweet little girl pitched. a. fit. “You promised, Mama! No, no, no, no, NO, NOOOOO!” Addy joined the chorus of dismay with loud wails of her own. The nurse was briskly efficient and we scooted out of there as fast as we could. I really felt like a rather awful mother. I did not buy a milk shake for either of us, which is our customary treat for being good at doctor’s visits.

I took my helper home, picked up milk, fed my family supper, listened to my man, slept the sleep of the nearly dead, and now here we go again. Trotting on.

I just found this really clever blog post on what it is like to be married to a student. I laughed out loud; it is so very true. I nearly cried; I am so incredibly relieved that we are on this side of graduation. This past summer when we were at the Faith Builders College Student Workshop, I remarked to an elderly gentleman that we are seeing light at the end of the tunnel. He smiled sagely and said, “You just hope it’s not the light from an approaching train.” Yeah, right. (I wonder if Gabe may have talked to him about going on to get his Bachelor’s…)

I think I had graduation tricked out in my mind as the magic portal through which we step, and everything that is less than ideal in our lives will immediately be fixed. Better job, more money, fewer crazy part-time hours at work, more time with the family, less stress, better health, instant happiness unmixed with ickiness. I mean, I am a realist, so I know that isn’t the way things work, but I wasn’t prepared for how utterly weary Gabe and I both felt. Very tired people aren’t always the most rational people. Nor did I expect a sort of identity crises. He knows how to be a student, I know how to support a student (sort of). Now we have to find a new normal, and it is not unlike the adjustment time after you have a baby. Just what do you do with a weekend when you don’t have to study? Can anybody remember how that looks? 🙂 And Children, for goodness sakes, take your quarrels to your father! Oh, yes, let’s all go to bed at the same time again, shall we?

So, just in case you think we are all hunky-dory over here, and its all glitter and stardust, I will just say, “Yes. And no.” But it is good.

Back when I was a teacher in a bricks and mortar school, this sort of thing amused me, but I had a pretty strict “no doodling on your papers” rule. Doodling, I felt, should be confined to sketch pads and scrap paper.

I then got married and gave birth to a son who doodled from 18 months of age to now. He scribbled on every surface imaginable, in every medium imaginable, despite the cases of plain white paper and the series of beautiful sketchbooks I provided. Sometimes it drives me crazy and sometimes I just sit and watch as a dancer materializes on the ear of a rhino, while her rescuer sits impaled upon its horn. The rescuer was rather hastily executed, because right then my inner teacher spoke up, “SERIOUSLY, Greg! Get the writing page done!”

Did you know you can actually do that? I looked it up, and one of the meanings is “deep pondering, musing”. So that is what I have been doing, reflecting forward and backward. I love a new year. It feels so fresh and exhilarating to teeter from the edge of a tired, raggedy December into a shiny, unsullied January.

I have always enjoyed Calvin and Hobbes, and had to laugh at this illustration today. One part of me is so excited to go exploring, and yet I feel so sad that for many people, 2012 will be the year their lives fell apart: the year of the school shootings, the year of the gaping, raw cries of  “Why?”

It was not an easy year for us, by any stretch, but we see that it was a time of abundant grace! I think sometimes we just keep pleading for mercy, breathing, doing the next thing, and asking for help, and it is only later that we realize the obvious fact that Someone was carrying us …Even in the very middle of the soul-stretching struggles that we didn’t think we deserved. It is that reflection on the past that gives me confidence for the future.

Recently I have seen enough negative media and crackpot conspiracy theories and the-left-is-the-devil, no-the-right-has-their-heads-in-the-sand junk to make me want to go straight up. People say, “Oh, just think what your children are going to have to deal with!” I do think about that, but it seems rather pointless to me. This is our time to shine, my friends!

In Matthew 5, we find this encouragement from Jesus: Let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven. I really like how the Amplified Bible just… amplifies it. 🙂

“Let your light so shine before men that they may see your moral excellence and yourpraiseworthy, noble, and good deeds and recognize and honor and praise and glorify yourFather Who is in heaven.” 

This is clearly not the time to cower! It is the time to be bold with our light, to intentionally make His name glorious in this sad old time in which we live! I want to go exploring in the new year! How about you?

I am sitting at home with a little girl who has been running a low grade fever for a few days. The rest of the folks are at church and the baby is playing in her crib. It is very, very quiet. 🙂 I listened to a sermon online, threw a load of laundry into the dryer,  (Gasp.) and decided to attempt a bit of an update. Funny, how sometimes I can’t sleep until I write something, and other times I let it lapse for weeks on end. Methinks a bit of discipline would be good for me! I keep tossing around the idea of taking some online courses in writing, but how would I ever accomplish those kind of deadlines? Ha. I also keep tossing around the idea of committing to a post a day, or something like that. New year’s resolution, perhaps. For one month. Maybe. See what I mean about discipline?

It feels like we have been trying to get well for ever. It took about a week for us to dig out from under  all the graduation hoopla. The primary emotion around here was weariness. For the children it was Crankiness, mingled with colds and a spot of flu. Thank God, there was no puking! I might have had a touch of Crankiness myself. Addy has had two solid weeks of the worst runny nose. How much snot can one small body produce? Apparently about its own weight, as evidenced by the prodigious amount of tissues and hankies we snorted through. I brewed up 3 batches of home made elderberry syrup and dosed everybody constantly with that and vitamin C. The thing with home remedies is I don’t know whether we would have gotten a lot more sick without them, or if they are a total waste of time… At least it makes me feel like I am doing something for the suffering one, apart from drugging them into a stupor. I feel pretty confident about my immune booster regimen, enough that the boys’ groans and protests don’t intimidate me at all.  I feel like Tom Sawyer’s aunt, mercilessly wielding an enormous spoonful of brew. Addy is the only one whose afflictions lasted more than two days. She got tired of the elderberry juice and hasn’t yet learned about No Spluttering Medicine.

So, then it was Christmas time. For the first time since we are married, we did not spend the day with extended family. I anticipated a quiet day, just making our own little traditions, although I have to admit, it felt a little flat. (Christmas has been growing exponentially louder with the years as the amount of children in the Schlabach family increased.) Gabe had worked 18 hours on Christmas Eve until 7 AM Christmas morning, so he opted out of the waffle breakfast the boys made and got some sleep in the forenoon. The littles and I lighted all the candles, watched the Jesus Film for children, then played outside in the gorgeous snow for a while. Gabe made a heroic effort to get up at noon and we spent the afternoon refining our game playing skills with our new Settlers of Catan, our collective family gift.

I was really surprised at how well the boys caught on to the nuances of the trading and developing of their lands. Gregory, unambitious and kind-hearted, was constantly making impractical trades with his resource cards.  Alex was a much more competitive player, specializing in getting the Longest Road. I have often looked at these games but thought they were too expensive. Obviously, I have revised my opinion. It is the most beautifully crafted board game of my acquaintance. We even like the tubby little wooden robber.

We took a break from Catan to get out the fine China and goblets for our ham and mashed potato dinner. I had made a tiramisu to eat at bedtime. And so the first Christmas with Just Us was fun and understated. I made one kind of candy this year, peanut butter buckeyes. That is all. Yesterday I gave the children permission to divide it out and eat it all up because I was so tired of their begging. 😉 I decided one colossal sugar buzz would be better than five mini sugar buzzes. I know, I know, that made no sense when you consider all the elderberry syrup I have been feeding them.

Gabe is still working all kinds of crazy hours, since he can’t start working as an RN until he passes the nursing board exam. Because he is a PA resident and the school is in MD, his paperwork was not submitted for an exam date before the holidays. At the moment it looks like he won’t have the exam until the end of January. But he does have the job he wanted at the local emergency department as soon as that is done. Until then he continues to haul sick people to the E.D. and then often taking care of the very same people on the med/surg floor during his hospital shifts. Usually when he has a shift in EMS, he can sleep at least a few hours before night shift at the hospital. Then he will have 24 hours at home before the next marathon. It is kind of a weird lifestyle, but we are so grateful that he has a job!

Sometimes I think “normal” is so far out there that we have completely forgotten what it is. Ha. I have been assured that “normal” is greatly overrated. What say?

It has been a week since the whirlwind of events surrounding Gabe’s graduation from nursing school. It has been a bit of an anticlimactic week consisting of laundry, sick kids, broken glasses, the death of an old friend, and much drear and rain. Still, I felt kind of like I do after the birth of a baby, dazed with gratefulness at what has emerged from the hardness of the labor, as well as not a little relieved that the pain is over!

I thought the pinning ceremony for the nursing graduates was just beautiful: all about serving humanity in need, using their skills to comfort and cheer people in the most vulnerable of times. I did happen to miss the best speech, due to the fact that someone needed to go potty just then. But I was back in time to see my man get a special award for professionalism. I clapped until my hands were hoarse, so to speak.

Gabe’s family trickled in that evening, all but the far away ones in South Dakota. It was so wonderful to have them all around to celebrate with us. We squeezed as much quality time out as we could, catching up with each other’s distant lives and watching our children become reacquainted as friends.

The graduation ceremony was held in a packed out gym the night after pinning. The bleachers were narrow and there were knees poking into my back from the fellows sitting behind me. But I wasn’t going to let that get to me! We sat and waited for quite a while, and I was so glad I had passed off Addy to a friend. When two of my children urgently needed to go potty, I thought we would duck out quickly and be back in time for the commencement to commence. To my chagrin, I heard Pomp and Circumstance playing while we were in the bathroom. I urged them to speed up, but nevertheless, I missed seeing the graduates file out into their positions of honor. I was a little irritated, then I was just a little mad. Then I laughed! The story of my life in the last ten years has been punctuated with urgent potty breaks. It seemed fitting, in an odd sort of way.

In my opinion, all the academic bling my husband wore as he graduated summa cum laude was richly deserved. I wanted to woot and holler when he walked onto the stage to receive his degree, but I found my throat strangely constricted. I alone know how incredibly hard he worked for the right to go out and use his talents. I am so proud!

We partied the next day at a local gym with our friends and family. The whole weekend was long on celebration and short on sleep, and so we sort of crashed this past week. I have been feeding my crew prodigious amounts of immune system boosters. We didn’t get dreadfully sick, just miserably sick, but we are on the mend. It is the season to celebrate Immanuel, “God With Us”, and we are so blessed!