Thankfulness and Uneasy Relationships

I doubt anyone was watching for the annual slightly strange list, (it’s late) but I have been collecting it in a notebook anyway. This year it’s a theme of first world problems.

• Budget airlines. You can (cheaply) speed to your destination at 500 miles an hour and you cannot be upset about that. And yet there is the anxiety that is unassigned seating and being among the last to board with only middle seats available and nobody meeting your eye, because they do not want you to sit in that seat.
• The detergent aisle at the store. So many ways to get clean, but you scoot past as fast as you can after picking up that one unscented thing before you pass out with Island Breeze overload.
• Reusable straws. Much better than all the waste, but there is the uneasy question of whether the person who washed the dishes actually used the little straw brush or just swished them through the water and hoped that took care of the milkshake residue.
• Parking garages. An indication that you are someplace teeming with people and excitement and muggings in dark, claustrophobic places.
• Parking meters. So many places to go and you can play “How many quarters will still not be enough quarters?”
• Buffet lines. Think about the lovely sharing of food and never mind all the (unsanitary) hands touching the serving spoons.
• Water fountains. Best just to drink the water and not think at all.
• Water bottles. The green option that spares you the water fountain, but how are there so many? Is it normal for them to live on the kitchen countertop? Are they canoodling in the cupboards with their cousins, the insulated coffee tumblers? Is that where all the freebies with logos come from?
• Italian food. Yes, it tastes amazing, and yes, your breath smells like garlic for two days and you don’t even know it.
• Home remedies when the OTC stuff that is too much or not enough. Yes, garlic is good for you and it might even work better than the prescription. Also yes, you smell like garlic.
• Library books. How amazing to be able to borrow whole worlds for free- and to lose them so easily too!
• Boots. Practical, ubiquitous footgear where we live. Always in front of the door, ready to be tripped over. Six people with at least 2 pairs each, and not a boot tray big enough to handle the volume.
• Eye exams. So many choices, one or two? three or four? five or six? All the choices while in close proximity to a person who showered with Irish Spring and drenched himself with Bay Rum so that your nose is tickling and finally you just SNEEZE.
• Health care professionals who are young enough to be my children. Brisk and well-educated in the latest of whatever is latest. But do they know things?
• Pedestals. Beautiful for cakes and horrible for people.
• The inter-webs. So many helpful connections, but you access them through a minefield of booby traps and wormholes.

This post serves no purpose aside from entertaining myself, and possibly you, with the flip sides of our conveniences and comforts, not the least of which is my very sensitive nose. Add to the list if you want. I would be happy to be entertained by your uneasy relationships.